PART SIX - ONWARD JOURNEYS

There is no denying that our past shapes us – it makes us the people we are, forms our views on the world and teaches us valuable lessons. It provides a multitude of experiences, events, achievements, relationships, journeys and memories – our very own multi-coloured, super-sensory, wide-screened epic production starring… (drumroll)… us!

Throughout Parts One to Five, you’ve journeyed into your past, shining a spotlight on yourself at various stages and ages, re-visiting significant places, hearing old, familiar tunes, becoming reaquainted with friends and relations, and, I hope, uncovering some forgotten treasures. 

In this final, and very important, Part, we’re going to take stock – to think about how this experience has made you feel, what it’s revealed to you about yourself and your life so far, and the inspirational clues within that life which will influence you in the next stage of your journey.

We’ll go through what you uncovered about your life, the highs, lows, and lessons learnt. Then we’ll give some thought to what may have been missing – the things you haven’t done, experienced or expressed – as well as the things you want to do more of, or enjoy again. We’ll think about future goals, ideas for sharing your life lessons and perhaps write your own manifesto. Finally, some positive thoughts to see you on your way as you embark on the next stage of your life story and continue creating a meaningful legacy.

TAKING STOCK

However long you’ve spent on Celebrate You – whatever format you’ve compiled information in, and however much you’ve contributed – you will, I hope, have something to look back on now.  Because, as well as being a wonderful collection of stories, memories and mementos encapsulating you and your life  – a collection that can also be shared with your loved-ones – you now have at your fingertips the clues to what will make you happy in the future; what will continue to give your life meaning, the direction you want to head in, and some priorities to take forward, so you can make the most of the time you have to come.

But first, if there is one thing I hope you’ve gained from this process, it’s a sense of self-worth. Whoever you are, whatever your collection of stories and life events contains, you have lived a uniquely meaningful life in some way. Here’s why…

Your Life Story
Just look at your life story again. What a journey! Whether you have travelled the globe or never left your home town, you have moved on – step by step – from your arrival into the world, achieving an education and starting work, forming friendships and families, enjoying your own set of interests and activities, dazzling the world with your own brand of magic… and your story continues in its own extraordinary way.

You should NEVER underestimate the significance of your life. Not just where it’s taken you but the simple fact that you are here – seeing the sun rise and set – and having the opportunity to fill your day with the things that matter to you and the people you love. Which brings us on to…

Relationships
When you really think about it, the number of people we encounter and who have an impact on us – however big or small – is incredible. Not just people we’ve known personally but those who have crossed paths with us through chance or accident, as well as those who have entertained, inspired and moved us. And the knowledge that we are intertwined with those who have come before us and those who will follow.

But while you’ve captured the names and stories of individuals who have had an impact on you, remember that since the day you were born you have been busy having an impact on others too. Whether you’ve been aware of it or not there are people out there in the world – alongside those you know and remember – who think of you with affection and respect for something you did that made a positive difference to them. 

Memorable Moments
No matter how detailed you may have been about recalling memorable moments in your life, I guarantee you won’t have captured even the half of it. Life is made up of these moments – good and bad, proud or challenging – too many to recall. But the ones that will have resonated with you will, I’m sure, be the moments that sparked the strongest reaction – those that brought joy and those that taught you a painful lesson. 

That’s why this section – as well as having been a welcome trip down memory lane – will be among the most useful to you when it comes to deciding what you want to do more or less of in the years ahead. We’ll talk more about that in a moment…

Music and Mementos
The emotional triggers we listen to and look at – music, photographs and prized possessions – have magical abilities. Just an opening musical note, a captured moment on film, or the sight of a meaningful item can transport us back to a time, place or person quicker than the Dr Who tardis.

So, as I said in Part Three, don’t keep those items locked away. Show them the light and give them air time. But also express what they mean to you while you’re still here and think about how you might pass them on. Who will appreciate and share in the value you’ve placed on these items? There’s a reason why TV programs like The Repair Shop have become so popular – it’s a winning combination of personal possessions that have been passed on, given some TLC and now treasured by family or friends who know its emotional worth. 

Unique You
By now, I think it’s pretty clear I’m doing my utmost to convince you you’re a uniquely wonderful, valuable individual. Yes, YOU! You with the magical mix of qualities, personality, talents, skills, values, and beliefs. You with those eyes, that mouth, those hands, that walk, that laugh…

You are a one-off, never to be repeated. Ever. And that’s a good thing. In fact it’s more than a good thing, it’s absolutely brilliant! It’s our uniqueness that makes us memorable. So don’t waste your life comparing yourself to others, or worrying that you don’t ‘fit’. You’re not supposed to fit. As Arnold Schwarzenegger said “What is the point of being on this earth if you’re going to be like everyone else?” You're supposed to stand out by just being you. And know that, while you made a list of people who inspired you over the years, you have been an inspiration to others in your own uniquely special way. So just stay in your lane, proudly doing what you do best. Being you.

My inspiration for putting together ‘Celebrate You’ came from a genuine, heart-felt desire for people to feel good about who they are – their unique place in the world, the lives they have lived, and their lives to come.  And, now you’ve reflected on your life so far, you can identify where your life’s highs and lows have been, what went right, what went wrong, the unexpected curveballs thrown, the strokes of luck, the good, the bad, the beautiful… and how you faced up to it all. 

So now we’re in a good position to ask that all-important question… what do you want to do with the rest of your life? The answer, as I’ve said, lies within the notes you’ve made during this course. It can be found in your life story, your memories, the people you’ve known and the person you are. 

I would suggest you begin by looking back at your notes and ask yourself the following questions…

• When was I at my happiest? 
• When did I feel most inspired?
• When was I at my best?

Look closely at what you were doing at the time. How did you feel? Who you were with? What made those moments in your life so significant and meaningful?

Be sure to highlight – big and bold – those answers because, frankly, this information is gold dust. Having sifted through the years you’re left with these valuable nuggets that not only keep you rich in happy and proud moments, they are also a measure of what matters to you – what lights your spark – and a reminder of how to stay true to your authentic self. 

So let’s look at how you use this information going forward…

More of the good stuff
The answer to what you want to do with the rest of your life is, in many ways, pretty obvious. You know what’s made you happy in the past, what’s inspired you, who you’ve enjoyed being with. Why not do more of the same? 

Well, I appreciate it may not be as simple as that. If you were happiest as a carefree 17-year-old backpacking around the world with your mates, and now you have a job to do, a mortgage to pay and family to look after, that might not be so easy to plan in.

But… you can acknowledge what it was about those happy moments that had such a positive impact on you. And, if those things, ie. discovering new places, taking time out, feeling the sun on your back, spending time with friends… still resonate with you, think of achievable ways to incorporate them into your current life on a more regular basis.

What’s missing?

For some, the answer to a happier and more fulfilling life may not lie in what’s happened to you already. It may, actually, be found in what hasn’t happened to you at all… yet. You may have looked back on your life and felt there were gaps – things you haven’t done but are longing to do, things you want to experience or express that just haven’t been realised or come to fruition. There may have been missed opportunities, wrong circumstances, or, quite simply, the time wasn’t quite right. But now it is… or it soon will be.

Seize the day… or simply enjoy it

When you looked back on your life, saw photographs of yourself from years gone by, did you think “where has the time gone?” Well, time has a habit of going by, and it appears to speed up the older you get! When I was young I remember being impatient – wishing I was a teenager when I was still in single figures, wishing I was working when I was still at school, wishing for Christmas again when the decorations had barely been put back in the loft. My mum always said the same thing to me “Nicola, don’t wish your life away”.  And she was right.

Life is so precious, and it’s precious because, at some point unknown to us, it ends. So life needs to be savoured, appreciated, enjoyed, and lived. As the artist Francis Bacon said…

If you’ve decided to do more of the things that make you happy, then plan them in. But be realistic about what you can do and when. ‘Seize The Day’ doesn’t mean fitting all your dreams and goals into the next 24 hours. Just make small steps towards them, and each step should, eventually, get you where you want to go. But remember there is no right or wrong direction to head to from here. In fact, you don’t have to head anywhere at all. Looking back on your life can simply be an interesting interlude – a pause for thought. And that’s absolutely fine.

The one thing you can guarantee in life is that you never stop learning. Whether it’s from the experiences of others or your own mistakes, there are lessons for us right up until our last breath. And that’s a good thing. It’s what makes our journey so interesting, and also allows us to have an impact on the lives of others and on the world itself. Hopefully, in a positive way.

You have lived and learned. All being well, you will continue to do so for many more years. And that means you know a lot… you really do. You have a vast, rich, interesting, colourful store of information and experiences that will be useful to others. Whether that knowledge includes initiatives for world peace, or baking the perfect sponge cake, you can contribute to the well-being of others in some way.  So think about how your knowledge and experience may benefit others. This could simply be within your own familiar circle of family and friends, or out in to the wider world. Play to your strengths – remind yourself what those strengths are. What sets you apart? Are talents being wasted? Beliefs being compromised? Beauty being hidden?

And, if you feel very strongly about something, put it out there, get involved. Whether that’s global environmental issues or championing a local cause; your voice is as valuable as anyone else’s and there are more platforms than ever to speak out from or take part in. You may want to come up with your own manifesto based on your values and beliefs. I wrote a Manifesto based on the life lessons I learn from working with death (it’s on my website or click the link above). Whatever it is you care about, you can make your mark on the world, and in the lives of others, leaving behind a legacy that is far reaching and long lasting. 

SUMMING UP

Whatever your reasons were for taking part in Celebrate You, may I just say ‘well done you’. Because you have taken valuable time to think about who you are, where you’ve come from and why you and your life matter. 

So if this experience has left you feeling good about yourself, your place in the world, and given you some ideas for the future, then that’s just great. In fact it’s better than great – it’s fantastic! I appreciate that recalling past events, looking at old photographs, hearing emotive songs, may have stirred some strong emotions at times. But hopefully, the overwhelming feeling is a positive one.

You may have ended up with a wonderful, colourful edition of your life story that you can share with the world. Or you may have a little notebook or memory box that you’d rather tuck away for safekeeping. What you choose to do with all this information now is entirely up to you. And it’s not the end of the story, of course, so you can keep adding to your experiences, accomplishments and adventures.

But whatever form your story takes, and whether it’s been a public or private experience putting it together. I would suggest that you let your loved ones know that, somewhere safe, you have this information. And, whether you are happy for all, or some of it, to be put towards a celebration of your life after you’ve gone. I can tell you from experience that having the deceased’s perspective on life during their own funeral makes for a really moving, personal ceremony. 

Of course, you may not want to wait until you are gone for a celebration of your life to take place. You may want to throw a party and celebrate while you are still here! And why not? Although if you are in good health and your party doesn’t fall on your birthday, you may need to do some explaining. But that’s OK. Just tell your guests “I’m celebrating my life and everyone who has played a part in it”.  Then all you need to do is have a night to remember…

Celebrate You set out to show how we are all extraordinary in our own way. But sometimes we’re too busy lurching from one day to the next to realise it. So, whoever you are, wherever you’ve been, wherever you’re going next, and however you want to be remembered, don’t ever forget how much you matter. Because it just won’t be the same here without you…

Final thoughts…

We all want to be happy don’t we? It’s the feeling we aim for, the state we hope to achieve, the sometimes elusive, utopian place we head off in search for. But I think that search for happiness is a bit like someone turning the house upside down to find their glasses, when the glasses are sat on their head. Because as Eleanor Roosevelt said “Happiness is not a goal. It’s a by-product of a life well lived.”

So if you embrace your life, celebrate who you are, appreciate how far you have come and approach the future with enthusiasm, curiosity and gratitude, then happiness will not only follow you on your journey of life, it will carry your bags, shine a light on the path and always find you a room with a view. 

I wish you happy travels.

The next steP...

If you enjoyed this course and would like to take the next step of planning your own unique and personal life celebration ceremony, then click below for more information on my e-course Remember Me…