Remember Me
by Nicola Dela-Croix
The optimistic guide to creating your own unique and truly personal funeral ceremony.
You are a limited edition. A one-off, never-to-be-repeated individual with your own character and qualities, your own relationships and experiences, your own life story. That uniqueness was celebrated when you arrived into the world and it should be celebrated when you leave it too. And although you will probably have as much say in the timing of your departure as you did in your arrival, wouldn’t it be nice to have some input in to how you are remembered when the time comes? To say farewell in your own style? It was your life, after all. Those who shared in it will, of course, want to express their feelings, play their part, and reflect what you meant to them. But the real expert on you... is you! So if you want to ensure you have a funeral ceremony that is personal to you – one that reflects you honestly and accurately, celebrates your life and your feelings for those you love – then you need to give it some thought now. Plan ahead, express your wishes and share them while you are still here.
Some people respond to the idea of expressing their funeral wishes with “why should I care? I won’t be there!” Well, if I may, let me respond with “you should care”. This is one of the most positive things you can do for yourself and your loved ones. They will take great comfort in being able to fulfill your wishes, and you will know you are being remembered in a fitting way that means something to you. Taking time out to focus on the end of your life will give a wonderful, new, uplifting perspective on who you are, the life you have lived and the years you still have to come. As well as the opportunity to engage with your mortality in a powerfully positive and life-affirming way.
What sort of commemoration do you want for the colourful life you’ve led and the extraordinary person you’ve been? How can you make your farewell ceremony as meaningful to you as it will be for your family and friends? Using my knowledge and experience as a Funeral Celebrant, Remember Me encourages you to think about these questions and helps you find some answers, resulting in your own collection of farewell wishes. These wishes can then be shared with your loved ones in person, or simply placed with important documents so they can be found when needed. And, of course, you can change or up-date your wishes at any time.
This course can be completed on its own, or is the perfect follow up to my other e-course ‘Celebrate You’, as much of the information gathered during that process – including your life story – can be incorporated into your ceremony content and wishes.
So – whatever your circumstances – be courageous and make that all-important difference while you can…
How does it work?
Remember Me is all about you, your life, and creating a celebration of your life that is personal to you. It's NOT a definitive guide to end-of-life issues or all-things funeral – that's a huge topic covering everything from ‘how to register a death’ to ‘choosing a headstone’ and my intention is to get you thinking, not drown you in detail. What we are focusing on here is the ceremony itself – that’s my area of expertise and what I believe will be most useful to you.
E-Course
This six-part course is delivered in the form of web pages, accessible on whatever digital device you choose. So it’s an easy-access, on-line format you can follow in the comfort of your own home, and in your own time. You can work through at a pace that suits you – do as much of it as you like, when you like. This is important because we’re dealing with the ever-changing story of your life and wishes that may evolve over time. So there are no deadlines to meet. Remember Me will simply be waiting for you in its own welcoming space whenever you are ready, and have time.
What does the course contain?
The course is divided into six written parts, together with a detailed Introduction. Each part has its own set of exercises for you to complete, as well as shared knowledge and experiences from me. These sections are…
INTRODUCTION
Explaining what the course is about and looking at the content.
PART ONE: THE F-WORD
We’ll start with a reminder of all the positive reasons why you should think about your funeral ceremony, what makes a meaningful farewell and what a funeral is really for. There are suggestions for how to capture your wishes plus a link to the Remember Me Workbook.
PART TWO: TYPES OF FUNERAL CEREMONY
This section covers the all-important question of Burial or Cremation and the considerations that may have an impact on your decision. Plus the options and possibilities for where and how you’d like to be laid to rest, and the style of ceremony that is best suited to your wishes and beliefs.
PART THREE: YOUR CEREMONY
We begin to look at the many ways you can create a ceremony that is uniquely personal to you, starting with choices such as style of coffin, how you’d like to be dressed, the wonderful, colourful world of floral tributes, and memorable ways to arrive on the day itself.
PART FOUR: MUSIC AND IMAGES
Music plays an essential part in any funeral ceremony, reflecting your tastes and personality, as well as the feelings you have for life and your loved ones. So how do you choose music and at what point in the ceremony is it played? We also look at the use of photographs and video/audio recordings.
PART FIVE: MEANINGFUL WORDS
What will be said when everyone gathers to say farewell to you? How can your life story, your qualities and characteristics, your achievements and feelings be shared in an accurate and meaningful way? We answer all these questions, together with thoughts on poems and readings, and sharing personal messages.
PART SIX : FINAL THOUGHTS
In our final part we discuss how you can live on through charitable donations and gifts, and the comfort your loved ones will gain from gathering together after the ceremony to share memories and raise a glass to you. Plus advice on how to tell your family and friends that you’ve put together your farewell wishes, and where to keep them.
What do I get out of it?
By the end of the course you’ll have:
• A set of wishes for your own unique and truly personal funeral ceremony.
• The confidence to pass those wishes on to your loved-ones.
• A new-found appreciation for the life you’ve lived, the years left to come and the legacy you’d like to leave behind.
• Comfort in the knowledge that you’ll be helping your family as they try to deal with your loss. And knowing you’ll be remembered in a way that holds meaning to them, and to you.
Who is it for?
We are all mortal and, at some stage, the journey of our lives will draw to a close. For some people – in particular those facing a terminal diagnosis – that mortality awareness is brought to their attention all too soon. For others, the time we have left is unknown. But whatever stage of life you have reached, planning for the inevitable is a positive step. Both for you and for the people you know and love. So this is a course for everyone – all ages, all circumstances and all beliefs.
Rest assured it is NOT a gloomy, depressing course! Far from it, it’s an uplifting, positive process that puts you, your life – and your loved ones – at the heart of every chapter.
What do I need?
Just enthusiasm and a computer, or other digital device, to access the web pages. In Part One of the course I detail options for how you might like to capture all the information you’ll be working through.There is also the option of downloading a workbook I’ve designed for you, which can then be given to your loved ones or kept safe with other important documents and paperwork.
In terms of time, as I said earlier, you decide how much of that you have to spare. I would, however, suggest that you might like to keep some momentum going and work through the course at fairly regular intervals. Each section builds on from the next so you don’t want to forget too much in-between.